Impact Velocity (The Physics of Falling) Read online

  Blaine’s eyes narrowed. “One of those children is mine.”

  The strange thing was, that hadn’t even occurred to me. It took me a moment to recover. Maybe that’s why I didn’t hear the door opening.

  “Daddy?”

  I reached back for Owen as a reflex but I was watching Blaine. He went very pale, his eyes devouring Owen like a starving man.

  Pete wore the emperor’s mask better than that. At least, he had.

  Blaine’s expression tightened and blood flooded his face. It was only then that I looked back at Owen. My hand was on his chest and he had his hand over mine, giving Blaine a puzzled frown. Owen looked at me.

  “Who’s here, Daddy?”

  ***

  My brain had gone into hibernation. It took me another several painful moments to realize that Blaine had heard Owen say “Daddy” and mean me. I turned my back to Blaine, moving to put my body between him and Owen.

  “I’ll explain later, buddy. Can you go check on Molly for me?”

  Owen cast a suspicious look up at Blaine. He went pale and gasped, turning wide, wet eyes on me, his face crumpled, all his preternatural calm lost to panic. The words began to tumble out of him. “I don’t want to go with him. Don’t let him take me, Daddy. Please.” He was clinging so hard to my hand that it hurt.

  I knelt in front of him and took him by the shoulders, giving him a little shake before I pulled him close. He burrowed into my embrace like a much younger child.

  “No one is taking you anywhere, Owen. I won’t let anything happen to you, remember?” He was trembling so hard that I wasn’t sure if he’d nodded. He clung to me as if proximity could make the words more true. “Besides, do you think Molly would stand for it?”

  He shuddered out a laugh that sounded more like tears than anything else, but I felt his smile against my neck, weak but there. More quickly than I expected, his trembling eased and he slowly extricated himself from my grip. He turned to face Blaine, though his body was angled subtly behind mine. His expression turned to stone, his eyes glittering hatred as only children can do it, so pure and so innocent.

  “Did you kill my Papa?”

  I glanced at Blaine. He looked like he’d been kicked in the stomach. I turned back to Owen and took his hand. “Will you do something for me?” He tore his glare from Blaine reluctantly and nodded. He was still shivering. “Go tell Jonathan who’s here and that we’re going to be out in the garden. OK?”

  “OK,” he said quietly, cutting a quick look at Blaine before he turned and ran back into the house. I shut the door.

  I was strangely reluctant to meet Blaine’s eyes. He was pale. For a moment he looked so much like Owen that my heart ached. I had a bright flash of memory, so clear it overlaid everything else. Hera sitting in bed holding her newborn son and Blaine looking down at both of them. At the time, I’d labeled the expression on his face as “fond,” which I thought was charitable of me, even as it sickened me.

  Now I knew I’d been far too stingy. That look was pure love. I hadn’t wanted to believe Blaine was capable of any such emotion. It was impossible to deny now. He was staring at the door where Owen had been only a moment before, raw, stark longing on his face.

  I gestured awkwardly. “Maybe we should go outside.”

  He gave no indication he’d heard me, but he followed me through the house when I led the way.

  I sat down on a carved bench and Blaine took a chair across from me. He had none of the polish and arrogance I’d always credited him with. He looked tired, strained.

  I’d hated Blaine for as long as I’d known him. Maybe my attitude had softened over the years he’d been in Dead End, though I think it was more the lack of new things to hate him for than any active efforts on my part. Maybe just knowing he was on Dead End had made it hard to hate him as much as I wanted to.

  Maybe all that time with Owen, the stamp of Blaine on his face even when I hadn’t consciously seen it, had done something. But in this moment, all I could see was the father, not the man. And that set empathy tangling in my gut with guilt.

  It also quenched the fear. When I’d opened the door to find him, I could almost see the ISS ships landing, the soldiers coming for us. Now I knew they weren’t there.

  “He doesn’t even know about me, does he?”

  He wasn’t looking at me, but for once I was sure it wasn’t because of me. He was starting off into the distance, a closed look on his face. Seeing the past, perhaps, or might-have-beens.

  Or maybe he didn’t want me to see too much. The thought tipped me off balance. I wasn’t used to thinking of Blaine with emotions, not human ones, anyway. It was easier when we were both angry. This was all wrong and I didn’t know how to think or feel anymore.

  “He knows what he has to know,” I said. “He knows he’s not ours—” The word sent a stab of pain through me, keen as a knife. No, there was no “ours” anymore. And yet I couldn’t voice the alternative.

  “He knows who his parents were, and he’s heard of what you did, more from others than from us. He knows a lot about his mother. As much as I can remember, and whatever anyone else can remember too. He thought you were dead. I didn’t intend for him to know you weren’t, but with all that’s happened...” I spread my hands in a helpless gesture. “I can’t keep him entirely ignorant of what’s going on around him. It’s too dangerous now. But I did censor what he’s seen so he wouldn’t find out you were alive and in the thick of all this during the funeral of the man he called Papa.” Blaine stiffened, but I didn’t relent. “He’s always had nightmares about you coming back and taking him away from us. So maybe he knew on some level long ago.”

  “He’s afraid of me.”

  “I think he always has been. Though we’ve tried to discourage that. Neither Pete nor I wanted him to hate you. It wouldn’t do any good and would only hurt him. But he’s taken what he knows and formed his own opinion about you. If there’s much in it that’s charitable, he hadn’t told me.”

  Blaine absorbed it all in impassive silence. Finally he turned to me, the emperor’s mask falling flawlessly back in place.

  “I think this discussion will be much more productive if you understand that I didn’t have anything to do with your husband’s death.”

  It felt like he’d tossed a bucket of cold water on me. “And now you’re going to tell me you didn’t kill the emperor’s unborn children either?” My throat was closing around the words.

  Blaine went oddly still. “I was not behind the miscarriages.”

  I made a rude noise, though it didn’t come as easily as it should have. I wasn’t even sure why I was baiting him. “You weren’t behind the assassination, you weren’t behind the miscarriages. What were you behind, Blaine, or am I supposed to believe you did nothing and that it was all a misunderstanding when we believed you were The Patriot?”

  His face and voice were emotionless. “I was never The Patriot, I think you know that now. That was the name Laudley created for his anonymous messages. I personally was behind all that happened with Kafe and Revan. And the fire in Abenez.”

  I caught my breath.

  I hadn’t expected him to claim responsibility for anything, much less acknowledge openly that he had taunted me with my rapist and kidnapped the child I hadn’t even known about and murdered millions of people just to destroy something of mine.

  The anger went out of me all in a rush. Molly. Owen. My reply, when it came, sounded too much like capitulation. “Just that.”

  “I understand those are not inconsiderable obstacles to any sort of arrangement between us,” he said softly, “but I can offer you a pledge of good faith.”

  “Oh? What would that be?”

  “His remains.”

  The whole world screeched to a halt with an ear-piercing clarity that stole my breath and clouded my vision.

  “What?”
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br />   Blaine folded his hands, calm and regal, though he didn’t look me in the eye. “Every emperor leaves a personal message for his successor. In his, he asked for his body to be given to you, if you survived him. He wanted to be put into the Dawes-Killearn Nebula with you.” He paused, as if he thought I was capable of making some response. “I will carry out his wishes, and give his remains to you as soon as I can.”

  The overwhelming need to cry clenched so hard in my gut that I doubled over, gasping for breath. I stared at my feet, wondering what dream, or what nightmare, this was.

  “I give you my word,” he said, quietly.

  He waited as I straightened, but this time I leaned against the back of my chair for support.

  “Thank you,” I said, breathless. “Though I suppose you realize I can’t go anywhere near the nebula right now. I can’t go anywhere at all.”

  He nodded. “But that won’t always be the case.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Really? Because I would have sworn...” I gestured around me, floundering. “Well, you sitting here doesn’t bode well for our chances of remaining hidden long. We’re not hidden at all, now.” I leaned toward him. “The Empire has found us.”

  “No,” he said. “I am not here as the Empire, though there is a much more precise explanation. I don’t know where we are right now, either, and I’ve sent no signals to anyone of my position. I came here as you did, on the transport.”

  “There’s another one?”

  “As I understand it, the departure of one transport triggers the construction of another. The one I came in was seaworthy, but incomplete. For example, I understand that it is supposed to alert the caretaker of its departure. That component had not been installed yet.”

  “I see. So no one knows you’re here but us, or knows how to come for you?”

  “No.”

  I just stared at him. “So if I decided to strangle you right now, no one would even know what happened?”

  He huffed. “Yes, if that’s what you want to take away from this conversation.”

  I threw up my hands. “You expect me to believe you just handed me that enormous advantage?”

  “You mean the way you handed me an unconditional surrender before you even knew what I was here for?”

  I scowled. “No one ever said I was any good at this stuff. You, however, are.”

  He nodded a sardonic bow, his lips twitching. “I used to think so.” His expression sobered quickly. “Though I’m surprised you haven’t doubted that, yourself. I still ended up on Dead End.” We sat there, locked in silent acknowledgment of our tangled past, and all the pain we had inflicted on each other. “This isn’t a game, and it’s not about you and me anymore. You laid down your cards before you even looked at them, for the same reason that I just exposed my vulnerability to you.”

  I looked down with a sigh. “The children.”

  “Yes. I’m not here as the emperor or as your enemy, or for any reason having to do with you or your daughter. I came for my son, and for no other reason.”

  My whole body went rigid. He held up a hand. “No, don’t take it like that. I mean I’m here because of him. In truth, I have no intention of taking him with me when I leave.”

  “Assuming you can leave.”

  He inclined his head in acknowledgment. “I have made arrangements.”

  “They won’t work.” Jonathan approached, taking his place behind me. “Unless you intend to bring an army.”

  Blaine’s face was a picture.

  “Jonathan?” He stared at me. “This Jonathan?” He shook his head, stunned, and looked up at Jonathan. “I thought you were dead.”

  “Your spy network clearly isn’t what it used to be.”

  Jonathan’s reply drew a snort of amusement out of me even before I’d processed the absurdity of the situation, or what was really niggling at my thoughts. Something Blaine had said.

  “You didn’t come to take Owen? You didn’t come here to do anything to any of us?”

  His mouth twisted. “It’s interesting to me that you would go immediately back to how this affects your family as a whole, rather than merely yourself or your own daughter. That’s not something you would have done all those years ago.”

  “Well I’m also not fifteen anymore. But you’re wrong anyway. I always loved Pete, even when I was stupid. You know that because you used it against me.”

  “Too true,” he said.

  Jonathan’s presence at my back was like a nagging itch. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Jonathan, sit down. There’s no protocol for a meeting of Traitors Anonymous. The only rule here is sit your ass down and be part of this conversation. We all know you know more about any of this than I do.”

  Jonathan gave me a half bow. “Yes, Your Highness.”

  “Jake.”

  He huffed amusement. “Jake.”

  Blaine was watching us in silence, his expression pensive. “I have to say, this development has taken me completely by surprise. Jonathan being here was something I never even considered. And you seem to have reconciled.”

  “It’s none of your business,” I snapped.

  He inclined his head in acknowledgment. “So long as we understand each other, if we are to work together.”

  “I didn’t say I was going to work with anyone, yet. I still don’t get why you’re here.”

  “Then I shall explain.” He waited for an objection, but it didn’t come. “Everything that has happened, starting with your husband’s murder, has been orchestrated by my father-in-law.”

  “Laudley,” I spat. “Yes, we figured that out already.”

  He didn’t react. “Then you have no doubt also guessed that his motives are entirely self-serving.”

  “Which would include your interests as well.”

  “Why should it?”

  I frowned. “What do you mean? Clearly he intended to incorporate you in his schemes. He took you from Dead End. You’re the Regent now, not him.”

  “He’s only using me now to stand in for the one he intended to have already. Owen.”

  Jonathan nodded. “Your usefulness to him ends when Owen is recovered.”

  “Yes. And this is not only supposition and logic. I have evidence that makes his intentions clear enough. With Owen on the throne, he could serve as Regent as well as I could, and he intends to. At that point, I am in his way. We have all seen how he deals with people who are in his way.”

  Slow anger burned like fire in my gut. “So what is it you want from me?”

  “I want you to do nothing.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I need to know my son is safe with you, and out of Laudley’s reach. I can’t act effectively if you are an unknown variable. If I succeed, you will win as well. But I need to know that we’re not, even unwittingly, working against each other. Especially in any way that would put Owen at risk.”

  “You want me to sit here while you decide the fate of me and mine?”

  “Yes.”

  I laughed. “If there’s one thing to be said for you, Blaine, your honesty is refreshing. Or at least, your straightforwardness. I suppose it would be stupid of me to assume those aren’t lies.”

  “Yes, it would,” Jonathan interjected. It made me laugh again.

  “We’ll have to discuss this,” he said to Blaine, “before we make any decisions.”

  “How does this end?” I pressed. “What happens when you’ve got Laudley out of the way?”

  “I’ll come back for all of you. You will be cleared of all charges and be free to do as you please.”

  “And who rules the empire?”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “You have ambitions, Prince Jacob?”

  I glared. “In the two decades you’ve known me, what did I ever do that gave you the impression I wanted to rule the fucking empire?” />
  “Then why do you care?”

  I bit back the reflexive response, the one that said I didn’t care, that he could take his imperial throne and shove it up his ass so long as he left my family alone. I looked away.

  “Because I won’t sit back and watch all of Pete’s work undone.” His mouth quirked but he didn’t interrupt. “Because Pete’s daughter is the rightful heir.” I sighed, feeling defeated. “Because he would care.”

  He nodded, as if satisfied. “I see. Believe it or not, I’m impressed. I wasn’t sure you would be so forward-looking. You’ve always struck me as a man who lived in the moment, and didn’t consider the consequences past the end of his temper.”

  “And I’ve always believed you were a narrow-minded, arrogant asshole ready to run over anyone who offends you.”

  “Or you’re clueless with a temper and an overblown idea about your own intelligence.”

  I barked a laugh, though I wasn’t sure if I thought that was funny or if it had just startled me. “That too. So why did you change the subject?”

  He sat back, his eyebrows raised. “You really are better at the game now, aren’t you?”

  “I don’t know. I survived the last five years without much of a fuss from anyone, so that could be true. But I think there’s something to be said for this non-confrontational curve ball you’re throwing me.” He gave me a long, considering look and sat back. “What happens after we win is negotiable, to some extent. My only stipulation at this point is that Owen is safe and that he acknowledges me as his father. I won’t go away. And I won’t give up all the progress we’ve made so far.”

  “Progress?”

  “Power.” He was very still. “I won’t put myself in someone else’s power. Not again.”

  “You expect me to agree to that?”

  “I don’t expect you to agree to anything at all. I only ask that we work together to protect all of us, and eliminate Laudley.”

  “Ridiculous,” Jonathan said. “Even Jake’s not stupid enough to make an agreement like that, open ended and with no assurances or protections.”

  I scowled, wanting to protest some part of that.